The Truth
by Miss. Edith needs her tea
Summary: Oneshot.ChihiroPOV.Dark.Selfharm.Language.Chihiro x Haku.I think this is the first of it's kind. 'I should have just wrote a book'


I don't own Spirited Away!

This is my first Spirited Away fanfic!

I'm changing the time line a bit. This is pretty dark, has self-harm, and suicide. I think this is cute and sad. I hope you enjoy it!

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_The Truth._

I have lived and worked in the Spirit World for five years. Thank god my parents were never eaten!

When we managed to get to the outside, the Human World. We had only been gone the summer.

There was an investigation about our 'disappearance'.

Then we just showed up.

Everyone asked us what happened.

Mom and Dad had no clue, I know I should have said something about a masked man hurting us, how Mom and Dad were 'asleep' the whole time.

But I didn't, I couldn't, I had to tell someone, so I told the officer. I told him we were taken to Spirit World, Mom and Dad were pigs. How I worked in the bathhouse and how we were saved by Haku. I even told them he was a river spirit, and that the was my dragon.

I should have saved it have wrote a book.

And that, that _bastard_.

He told Mom and Dad!

They sent me away.

My body was ten and my mind was fifteen. If that didn't fuck me up, I didn't know what would.

It's sad that I found out.

I was sent to the best and the best happened to be in America.

Yup, I was in an American nut house.

Now I really wished I saved it for a book.

Everything was clean, white, the smell, that smell.

It was too clean; it made me gag.

It was that bad.

They let us wear what we wanted, but even that was monitored.

We had to see a doctor everyday; I had to see mine after lunch, right before group.

Life was monotone.

Boring.

It was the same everyday.

Wake, breakfast, free time, lunch, therapy, group, free time lights out.

The.Same.Ever.Day.

I kept me hair tie. I always kept it up. People no now to stay away from it.

People were bit if they even tried to take it.

I was seventeen, or that was my mental age. I just needed to see him.

I tried to kill myself.

It made sense to me.

He was a spirit in the Spirit World, and I was human.

To see him I needed to be a spirit, that meant I needed to die.

After that I wasn't seen as the 'crazy chick', I was seen as the 'crazy cutter chick' no one told the doctor that I kept cutting with everything and anything could.

Even though I had to see my doctor twice a day after that.

Why?

I don't know why.

I just wanted to find my love.

Were they against us?

I lived most of my life in that nut house.

I was shame to my family.

They disowned me when I was thirteen, eighteen.

They popped me full of pills, I OD'd on them. But it was their fault, not mine.

But I was so close to seeing _him; _I was on the boat.

But they 'saved me'.

I wanted out.

I needed out,

I stopped cutting; I stopped thinking about cutting; trying to get my hands on a blade of any kind; I gave them the one I did have. I talked during therapy; I was seemly 'better'.

They let me out after that. I was twenty-five, thirty.

They let me out but I still had to go to daily sessions, then weekly, then monthly.

I was thirty-five, forty when I got Danny; he's my helper, my aid.

He helps me.

Tells the doctors I'm taking my meds. That I really have stopped cutting.

I hadn't though.

That boy didn't look hard enough.

To shy.

That and I am an old maid.

Cutting brought me closer to Haku.

Not that it brought me closer to death, it means that I felt closer to him, watching my blood flow like a river, like Haku.

I still haven't seen Haku. I am forty-five, fifty.

Maybe he didn't think of me like I thought of him?

Maybe he had come when I was sleeping and seen my scars and ran?

…what if I was just a silly crush?

I couldn't live with that.

So I wouldn't

I tried to kill myself once, was almost killed…well a few times, and now I was going to do it right.

Danny was in his room sound asleep.

I had to go to the kitchen to get my knife.

But I would do it in my room.

I really was going to do this again, see Haku. And if I was a silly crush I could always go and stay with Granny.

I was on my bed when I slit my throat, I stabbed myself in the chest, right in my heart.

It was a good thing to, if I wasn't on my bed, I would have slid to the floor and woken up Danny.

I waited for my world to grow dark.

Dimming, until I would see the boat, it would bring me over the river.

The boat was for new souls just coming to spirit world.

They would give you some money to get your new unlife started.

I knew where I was going; I was going back to the bathhouse.

It was easy to find the bridge again.

One of the many things I thought about when I was in the nut house.

I almost held my breath when I was going to cross, but stopped I didn't need to, I wasn't human anymore. I didn't need to; that's when I relised I was seventeen again.

When I looked back up, Haku was on the other side of the bridge.

I ran to him.

"Haku,"

"Chihiro,"

That was all that was needed.

We kissed; by the gods did we kiss! I've been waiting for a very, very, very long time.

He took me away with him.

And I didn't look back.

I didn't need to.

I could go back, there was nothing back there that I needed or wanted.

I never wanted to go back.

I found him.

I couldn't now.

Not anymore.

I do have a wedding to plan after all.

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And I'm done! Hope you liked it, and I hope you leave me a review!

And about the cutting some might think that you can't just stop, you can, I did, it's almost been a year. Just four months off. And I try not to go back to old habits, but by the gods is it hard! If I hadn't met my new best friend I might be dead by now.


End file.
